Monforte Feria de los Libros

Travel writer Eddie Rock and his book 'El Camino De Santiago: Guia para Pecadores'(Spanish Version'  will be at The annual Monforte de Lemos book fair this year. so i guess i better brush up on my Spanish!!

Having brushed up on my Spanish and with great difficulty chose a chapter from my book that does not contain too much profanity, I prepared for the Great Monforte Book fair: Exited I was, to actually be permitted to be part of something mainstream at last so the night before i decided to get exceedingly drunk with my amigo 'El Burro' the mule and smoke a lot of herbal remedy...Needless to say  the next day despite my 30 sun salutations, a small jog around a large tree and a large glass of Ribena I still was no where near ready to face the masses of Monforte...Luckily it was a nice sunny day and we arrived in the city to find it completely deserted and all the book stalls locked up for the day , or so it would seem. i checked to see if i had come on the wrong day? I hadnt... So my self, my beautiful fiance and my amigo 'El Burro' waited for my Spanish teacher and translator of the book Andrea to turn up as we sank a few well needed bottles of Estrella and I practiced on my chapter with a feeling of impending doom as the hour grew near for my slot at 7.30pm.
So at 7.20 we arrived in the empty street, luckily the stalls had opened.. and.after a bit of confusing euro babble with the organisers I was handed a microphone and told to get ready... At 7.29 I coughed into action with the confidence of a condemned man facing a firing squad of 'El Burro' my fiance, my Spanish teacher, The organiser, the woman incharge of the microphone, a Beadles handful of bemused citizens and a group of 12 infants high on Coca cola and assorted sugary products running wild and unbridled around the empty wooded chairs.  My microphone screeched and scrawked as it took some heavy blows and knocks from the screaming banshees. surely at any moment the hidden camera crew and presenter will jump out from behind the stage and the place will erupt into laughter...???...
It didnt happen... At 8.00pm we were heading back home, feeling like I had been violated cursing the day i had put pen to paper! I have recently had therapy to try and erase thay day from my mind forever, but im often triggered into anxiety by the smell of smarties and fanta orange...God doesnt love a tryer it seems...